Years ago, I was in a constant state of worry. One of my daughters had a health issue that had resurfaced, and I found myself ruminating about it. This tedious pattern, which ran on autopilot for about 10 years, would lead me to research every expert in western and holistic medicine, and then plan a course of action, trying a new specialist and following their protocol—often with mixed results.
But one pivotal day there came a moment when those familiar thoughts surfaced, and I heard an internal voice urging me to stop. Not to stop taking care of my child, of course, but to stop the endless obsession and rumination. Stop worrying? Could I?
I guess some of us eventually reach an impasse, a moment where the same course of action is unacceptable. We somehow tune into our inner wisdom. Begrudgingly, I realized that to break the pattern, I needed to change. And that was hard and uncomfortable and, frankly, a little overwhelming. I was used to behaving, and especially thinking, in a particular way. It was an easy and familiar comfort zone of worry. But was it doing any good? Was it helping? Was it improving my relationships? Was it sustainable? Was it who I wanted to be in the world? If I listened to that inner voice, the honest answer was, “No!”
With this new awareness, came a sense of responsibility. I knew that if I wanted to act and feel differently (worry less), then I needed to change. And this is something we typically resist until someone or something external comes along and forces us to react. Normally we avoid change because we associate it, wittingly or unwittingly, with pain and discomfort.
Despite my inner resistance and discomfort, that day I made a decision to change. It had become apparent that to feel differently, I needed to think differently. While I couldn’t change the situation, I could change my response to it. And to change my thoughts, I needed to become aware of behavior patterns and limiting beliefs that kept me stuck. And it was not going to happen without some degree of attention and diligence on my part.
I did something we all hear is good for us but often think, “that’s not for me. I can’t do that because my mind is too distracted.” I started meditating. Meditation, for me, was not in the transcendental camp with music and a single mantra replaying in my head. I gravitated toward guided meditations that kept reminding me where my attention should go. And over time, something remarkable occurred. I realized that I was no longer operating from a place of worry. I was happier, calmer and reminded of my younger self—the person who loved adventure, creativity, learning, and helping people.
Of course, meditation might not be the right modality for everyone, but it worked for me. Over time, I worried less and expanded my attention and ability to focus. I slept better. I became aware of how judgmental I could be toward myself and others; and worked to be more compassionate and curious. I became less afraid and more confident to put myself out there in ways that would have previously been too stressful. To satisfy a desire for learning and growth, I entered an intensive program and got certified to be a life and health coach. It felt like my mind, with a break from worry, could thrive in ways I could never have anticipated. Even my work as an artist improved, freeing me to be more creative and experimental.
Patience came more easily at home, and I came to understand the empowerment that comes with taking charge of my thoughts and feelings. Even my relationship with my daughters improved. I realized that the same routines, emotional states, and behaviors were slowly eroding my sense of autonomy and joy for life. By breaking those patterns, I gave myself permission to act and feel differently, adding a tremendous amount of joy to my life.
If this resonates and you feel ready to embark on making changes in your life—consider working with me. You will find that way leads on to way and exciting new doors will open. Just cultivating an awareness about your mindset will empower you with a new sense of freedom. Together we will identify tools that help you tune into your aspirational self, the part that longs for betterment and growth. You will not regret investing in yourself. Together, we’ll create a plan that both empowers and moves you forward with a sense of clarity and fulfillment.
